The Nine Days: A Time for Reflection on Ahavas Yisroel
In the Nine Days, we reflect upon the destruction of the second Beis Hamikdash, and what we might do to merit the building of the third Beis Hamikdash – once and for all!
Wowsers... it's nearly Shabbos Chazon 5773. I am reminded of Shabbos Chazon 5753 – when I was eight years old. I was at a Shabbos party, the first Shabbos party I was ever at; the Chabad rabbi told the children the well known story of the prince who tore his new clothes:
The king gave his son the prince new clothes, and the prince, who was very wild, rough-housed around, tearing his new clothes. The king gave him another pair of new clothes, warning him to be careful this time. But the prince again rough-housed around, and tore his new clothes again. The king had a third pair of new clothes made for his son, and showed them to him, telling him that he will not give this third pair to him until he learns to behave himself. But once in a while, the king would bring his son to the closet, to show him the pair of new clothes that was waiting for him – once he learned to behave.
And we all understand the nimshal, of Shabbos Chazon – the Shabbos when Hashem gives us a vision of the third Beis Hamikdash. When we "learn to behave," we will merit the third Beis Hamikdash!
As an eight-year-old boy, hearing this story for the first time, I was all excited. Little did I realize, that twenty years later I would be writing this article – the Geulah still not here.
The first Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, because the Yidden worshiped idols. Thankfully, we no longer worship idols.
The second Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, because we did not have ahavas Yisroel for one another.
It seems, unfortunately, that nearly two thousand years later, we are in the same state. And it speaks for itself that we are – for if we had proper ahavas Yisroel for one another, we would not still be in galus.
In the Rebbe's sichos, the Rebbe has emphasized time and time again, the importance of increasing in ahavas Yisroel, and acts of kindness, in order to merit the Geulah. Have we been heeding the Rebbe's words?
I notice all the time, that in particular, there are five mitzvos bein adam l'chaveiroh that we, the Yidden, even us Lubavitchers, need to improve in greatly. Perhaps, if we improved in these five mitzvos, we could merit the Geulah, once and for all:
1. Lashon Harah
We preach to our young children the importance of not speaking lashon harah.
But let's face the fact: We speak lashon harah all the time! Most of us don't even try to resist the urge to speak lashon harah. We just do so, freely!
Why do we preach against speaking lashon harah, and yet we speak it constantly?
Would a frum Yid ever eat treif?
Well, halachically, and also according to Chassidus, lashon harah is an even worse aveirah than eating treif.
So why is it that a frum Yid would never, ever eat treif – but not even think twice about speaking lashon harah?
Interestingly, many Yidden make excuses about speaking lashon harah.
"In this case, it's acceptable."
"In that case, it's acceptable."
No, it isn't!
Like with everything else in the Torah, there is only one instance when you're allowed to speak lashon harah: When it's a matter of life and death.
Otherwise, it is simply forbidden!
Now in the nine days, we ought to get a grip on ourselves – stop speaking lashon harah!
2. Being Dan l'Kaf Z'chus
I was recently told by a friend, that his shidduch was broken off because the kallah found out that he was hospitalized in a mental hospital when he was a kid.
Obviously, if someone was once in a mental hospital when he was a kid, and now it's ten years later, drop him like a hot potato; he's obviously a raving lunatic!
A person's cellphone goes off in the middle of davening. What is wrong with that guy? Didn't he see the sign that says to turn off your phone in shul?
Except that he was anticipating an emergency – and so he had to have his phone on to be notified about it.
A girl is walking down Kingston Avenue... wearing a short skirt, and no tights. Tsk, tsk!
Oops, you didn't realize she's in the process of becoming a ba'alas t'shuvah....
Look! There's a shliach in the neighborhood collecting funds for his Chabad House. Well now! He must not be a very good shliach, if he had to come halfway around the world to collect money!
Did you hear about the couple that got divorced? There must be something really wrong with them. What kind of normal people in the frum community get divorced?
We must be more dan 'kaf z'chus, if we want to bring the Geulah.
3. Tzeddakah
Let's face it, most of us don't give enough tzeddakah.... Not according the the standards that the Rebbe wants from us.
We learn in Tanya that we must certainly give at least a fifth of our income to tzeddakah. Do we all do that?
"G'dolah tzeddakah shemikareves es haGeulah!"
We must give more tzeddakah, to merit the Geulah!
4. Sever Panim Yafos
You see someone you know, and you walk up to him, greeting him warmly. "Hey, how are you? Good to see you!" He looks up at you without smiling. "Oh, hi," he says rather coolly. Your smile falters. Obviously, he's not as delighted to see you as you are to see him....
A new person walks into shul. Everyone ignores him.
Why not greet a new person warmly, with a smile? "Welcome to our shul!"
The Rebbe always greets everyone b'sever panim yafos. It is such an important component of ahavas Yisroel!
Being warm and friendly, giving someone a "Shalom aleichem," or "Good Shabbos" or "Good Yomtov" – it doesn't cost money!
5. Hakaras Hatov
There just seems to be a serious lack of gratitude these days....
Like in the case of sever panim yafos, saying thank you to someone who did something nice to you doesn't cost money!
Hakaras hatov is so important, that we begin each day by saying "Modeh Ani" – thank you to Hashem, before even reciting a brachah.
We need to say "thank you" more to those who do good things for us.
We also need to educate our children to have hakaras hatov. When your kid invites a friend over, when he leaves the house does he tell you thank you?
When the teacher gives your kid some extra attention to help him in learning, does your kid thank him for going out of his way? Do you?
Parents spend thousands of dollars on their children's weddings. Do they properly thank their parents and in-laws the way they really should?
"Thank you." This is the magic phrase. An essential component to proper ahavas Yisroel. Let's all show a little more hakaras hatov to those who do good things for us, whether it's our parents, our siblings, our teachers or our friends.
Wowsers... it's nearly Shabbos Chazon 5773. I am reminded of Shabbos Chazon 5753 – when I was eight years old. I was at a Shabbos party, the first Shabbos party I was ever at; the Chabad rabbi told the children the well known story of the prince who tore his new clothes:
The king gave his son the prince new clothes, and the prince, who was very wild, rough-housed around, tearing his new clothes. The king gave him another pair of new clothes, warning him to be careful this time. But the prince again rough-housed around, and tore his new clothes again. The king had a third pair of new clothes made for his son, and showed them to him, telling him that he will not give this third pair to him until he learns to behave himself. But once in a while, the king would bring his son to the closet, to show him the pair of new clothes that was waiting for him – once he learned to behave.
And we all understand the nimshal, of Shabbos Chazon – the Shabbos when Hashem gives us a vision of the third Beis Hamikdash. When we "learn to behave," we will merit the third Beis Hamikdash!
As an eight-year-old boy, hearing this story for the first time, I was all excited. Little did I realize, that twenty years later I would be writing this article – the Geulah still not here.
The first Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, because the Yidden worshiped idols. Thankfully, we no longer worship idols.
The second Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, because we did not have ahavas Yisroel for one another.
It seems, unfortunately, that nearly two thousand years later, we are in the same state. And it speaks for itself that we are – for if we had proper ahavas Yisroel for one another, we would not still be in galus.
In the Rebbe's sichos, the Rebbe has emphasized time and time again, the importance of increasing in ahavas Yisroel, and acts of kindness, in order to merit the Geulah. Have we been heeding the Rebbe's words?
I notice all the time, that in particular, there are five mitzvos bein adam l'chaveiroh that we, the Yidden, even us Lubavitchers, need to improve in greatly. Perhaps, if we improved in these five mitzvos, we could merit the Geulah, once and for all:
1. Lashon Harah
We preach to our young children the importance of not speaking lashon harah.
But let's face the fact: We speak lashon harah all the time! Most of us don't even try to resist the urge to speak lashon harah. We just do so, freely!
Why do we preach against speaking lashon harah, and yet we speak it constantly?
Would a frum Yid ever eat treif?
Well, halachically, and also according to Chassidus, lashon harah is an even worse aveirah than eating treif.
So why is it that a frum Yid would never, ever eat treif – but not even think twice about speaking lashon harah?
Interestingly, many Yidden make excuses about speaking lashon harah.
"In this case, it's acceptable."
"In that case, it's acceptable."
No, it isn't!
Like with everything else in the Torah, there is only one instance when you're allowed to speak lashon harah: When it's a matter of life and death.
Otherwise, it is simply forbidden!
Now in the nine days, we ought to get a grip on ourselves – stop speaking lashon harah!
2. Being Dan l'Kaf Z'chus
I was recently told by a friend, that his shidduch was broken off because the kallah found out that he was hospitalized in a mental hospital when he was a kid.
Obviously, if someone was once in a mental hospital when he was a kid, and now it's ten years later, drop him like a hot potato; he's obviously a raving lunatic!
A person's cellphone goes off in the middle of davening. What is wrong with that guy? Didn't he see the sign that says to turn off your phone in shul?
Except that he was anticipating an emergency – and so he had to have his phone on to be notified about it.
A girl is walking down Kingston Avenue... wearing a short skirt, and no tights. Tsk, tsk!
Oops, you didn't realize she's in the process of becoming a ba'alas t'shuvah....
Look! There's a shliach in the neighborhood collecting funds for his Chabad House. Well now! He must not be a very good shliach, if he had to come halfway around the world to collect money!
Did you hear about the couple that got divorced? There must be something really wrong with them. What kind of normal people in the frum community get divorced?
We must be more dan 'kaf z'chus, if we want to bring the Geulah.
3. Tzeddakah
Let's face it, most of us don't give enough tzeddakah.... Not according the the standards that the Rebbe wants from us.
We learn in Tanya that we must certainly give at least a fifth of our income to tzeddakah. Do we all do that?
"G'dolah tzeddakah shemikareves es haGeulah!"
We must give more tzeddakah, to merit the Geulah!
4. Sever Panim Yafos
You see someone you know, and you walk up to him, greeting him warmly. "Hey, how are you? Good to see you!" He looks up at you without smiling. "Oh, hi," he says rather coolly. Your smile falters. Obviously, he's not as delighted to see you as you are to see him....
A new person walks into shul. Everyone ignores him.
Why not greet a new person warmly, with a smile? "Welcome to our shul!"
The Rebbe always greets everyone b'sever panim yafos. It is such an important component of ahavas Yisroel!
Being warm and friendly, giving someone a "Shalom aleichem," or "Good Shabbos" or "Good Yomtov" – it doesn't cost money!
5. Hakaras Hatov
There just seems to be a serious lack of gratitude these days....
Like in the case of sever panim yafos, saying thank you to someone who did something nice to you doesn't cost money!
Hakaras hatov is so important, that we begin each day by saying "Modeh Ani" – thank you to Hashem, before even reciting a brachah.
We need to say "thank you" more to those who do good things for us.
We also need to educate our children to have hakaras hatov. When your kid invites a friend over, when he leaves the house does he tell you thank you?
When the teacher gives your kid some extra attention to help him in learning, does your kid thank him for going out of his way? Do you?
Parents spend thousands of dollars on their children's weddings. Do they properly thank their parents and in-laws the way they really should?
"Thank you." This is the magic phrase. An essential component to proper ahavas Yisroel. Let's all show a little more hakaras hatov to those who do good things for us, whether it's our parents, our siblings, our teachers or our friends.